Why You Should Think Twice About Telling Someone About Your Anxiety

          I recently confided, very privately, I might add, to my supervisor/manager that I was recently diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I thought she would understand at first because confided to me that she's had some similar experiences, and at the time, she did indeed seem to understand. I was relieved that someone in my position knew how I felt. However, I've noticed that ever since then my co-workers have looked at me differently,  they approach me with extreme caution and talk down to me as if I'm constantly under a ginormous crushing weight of anxiety that prevents me from dealing with reality. Now, I totally understand this. People react differently to hearing this about other people and treat you differently, it's a fact of life. I can't prevent other people's thoughts/actions, certainly! And I'm ok with that! However, the problem that bugs me is that I told this person in complete and utter confidence. Of course, when I confided in them I didn't make us participate in some sort of perverse demonic blood oath ritual to swear to utter secrecy. However, I didn't expect that by telling this person in--again, complete confidence, outside of work-- that all of my coworkers would know in the coming week.
The fact is, when you tell someone that another person has an anxiety disorder, they will see that person as a walking anxiety disorder. You can't expect them to understand, that's why I kept it to myself until then.

           Now, the other aspect of telling my manager this was that every time I had a legitimate problem, such as people having random, lengthy tasks for me to do (that, may I say, are completely outside of my department), lack of time, or lack of communication, said manager writes it off as "oh it's just another panic attack." Because I told her I have anxiety, she does not respect me or my concerns, and those problems go unresolved. I'll be honest, I've never felt so calm about something in my life. I do not feel anxiety when I think of these unresolved issues, only pure frustration that I am not being taken seriously in my job. For an example, a few weeks ago I had received a large load for the weekend, on the day that I was told that I will always have helpers, they both disappeared as managers moved them to other departments. That day was completely chaotic for me and I felt I got nothing done, so I tried to talk to previously said manadge about the problem, and she told me that the good thing about produce was that it was tucked away in the back of the building, so I could go in the cooler and cry if I needed to. She did not attempt to solve the issue at hand.

           Now, my purpose of this post was not to scare you from seeking help from another person. Just be sure that you are telling the right person. Because there is always someone out there looking out for you and who will listen to you, you just have to keep going and work with them.
           Well meaning but misunderstanding confidants might do you more harm then good. Be careful and chose someone who you have known long enough to trust them, and certainly not someone involved in any way with your workplace.
 This doesn't mean you should be anxious at the very thought of finding someone to confide in, I would just be careful if you advertise yourself as "disorder-diagnosed." As when you do that, for some people, that's all they can see and they can't get past it. Let them get to know you and not your anxiety. I've learned this very important lesson these past few years to not categorize myself as an anxiety disorder. It's hard, but don't let your anxiety problems consume, direct or define you. You are you and everything that "you" encompasses. You just have to remember that in the end, the only person who can really make the push, really make the change is you. And I wish you the best of luck! 

You are more than a disease, a disorder, a condition.

You are you.

Also, I sincerely apologize for the weird formatting, blogspot is weird.